The Times They Are A-Changin’: Top 10 Signs I’m Aging

Old ManIf you are old enough to remember the words of that old song, you are probably old enough to appreciate today’s blog. As Mr. Dylan once said, “The times they are a-changing.” In recent months I have become increasingly aware that age is starting to impact my life. And so, in the spirit of humility (and humor), I thought I would compile a list of signs that I am getting older.

10. My bladder no longer allows me to get a sound night of sleep. If I drink anything after 8 pm, I am waking up at least 3 times during the night to pee.

9. On a related note, if I’m still awake after 9 pm, something’s probably wrong.

8. My internal biological clock has replaced my alarm clock. In my younger days I hit the “snooze” button at least half a dozen times before rising from my slumber. Now, I wake up before the first alarm ever sounds.

7. Daily naps are now standard practice. The question isn’t, “Will I take a nap?” The only question now is, “How many naps will I take today?”

6. My once vibrant metabolism should be pictured on the side of a milk carton. It has been missing for years. I used to be able to eat anything and not gain weight. Now I eat nothing and I still gain weight.

5. I have to wear glasses now to read comic books.

4. I have more hair growing from my nostrils than I do on the top of my head.

3. I never see the end of any movie. I’m asleep before they are done.

2. I have trouble remembering important dates like my children’s birthdays. Heck, I’ll be honest. I have trouble remembering my own birthday these days.

1. Now when my wife wants to “get frisky” I’m the one saying, “I’m tired. Maybe tomorrow night.”