10 Ways To Lose Your Groom

Proverbs 21:19, “It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman.”

Over the last 3 days we have focused our attention on the husbands. Ladies, it’s your turn now. Let me add one word of explanation. I am not attempting to make light of the problems that many couples face in their own marriages. As a pastor for over 20 years I have seen firsthand the pain and scars that are left in the aftermath of separation and divorce. Yes, these message have been tough. But my hope is that they will awaken the one who has grown complacent and lazy.  Hopefully, these messages will save someone’s marriage. That is my desire. That is my prayer.

10 ways to lose your groom…

10. Remove the words “thank you” from your vocabulary. The last thing any man wants or needs is to feel appreciated. Besides, if he begins to think his hard work and sacrifice have value, it might all go to his head. Your lack of gratitude helps keep him humble.

9. Keep the leash short and tight. Everyone knows that ALL men are dogs. You can’t trust any of them. Not for a minute. Make him “call in” frequently. Demand that he detail where and when he is going at all times. Never allow him any free time. Besides, you’re only suffocating him for his own security.

8. Tell your mother everything. And I mean… everything. No detail, no failure, no struggle is too intimate or personal for her. In fact, the more family members who know your personal, private business the better. Besides, what husband doesn’t want to live under the weight of your family’s constant criticism and complaints?

7. Take no interest in his interests. Sports? Hobbies? Dreams? Desires? He should have realized that all those things ended when he said, “I do.” Remind him often if necessary that the only interests that matter any longer are yours. Besides, what man wouldn’t rather be shopping for new shoes and a matching purse?

6. Nag. Nag. Nag. And then… nag some more. No matter what he does constantly remind him of what he hasn’t done. Be relentless. Be persistent. The garbage cannot wait until halftime. The grass has to be cut NOW!!! (What will our neighbors think?) Who cares if he works 60+ hours a week. Besides, that bathroom really does need to be painted (again).

5. Involve your father in every major decision, crisis and repair job. In fact, go to your father first before approaching your husband. Don’t give your husband any sense of confidence or trust. Let him know that in your mind daddy is still the only man who really knows how to take care of you. Besides, what husband doesn’t want to spend his whole marriage living in the shadow of his father-in-law?

4. Make the most of every opportunity to publically criticize your husband. Downsize his accomplishments. Insult his intelligence Undermine his authority. Make sure that all his friends know who really wears the pants in your home. At no time should others think you either regard or respect your husband. Besides, everyone knows that a humiliated man is a happy man.

3. Minimize the importance of sex. Or at the very least use it as a weapon or a tool. Always have a headache. Pretend you are asleep. Just flat out tell him, “No! We have already had sex this year!” Withhold it if you don’t get your way. Withdraw from him if you are angry, depressed, had a bad hair day or the wind recently changed direction. Besides, what’s the point of sex unless you need something done around the house?

2. Refuse to let go of the past. Whether it is the love letters from your old boyfriend or what your husband said 10 years ago… NEVER LET IT GO. Always bring it up during a fight. Every time. Without fail. Remind your husband constantly that you could have done better, that you could have married that doctor. Besides, what real man needs to know that he is the only one you love?

1. Neglect your spiritual life. Forget all about the Bible, prayer and fellowship with other Christian women. Read Cosmopolitan. Listen to Oprah. Why trust God for spiritual guidance and direction when you can turn to your friends or your mother? Besides, who wants to run the risk of God actually speaking to their hearts and saving their marriage?