Lessons On Purity: She Is Not What She Seems

WARNING…this is a little “strong” in some areas. Not offensive…just straightforward. But I have a real sense that someone needs to hear this. In addition, bear in mind that these notes on purity were originally written for a male audience. I understand that purity is an issue regardless of gender. The emphasis on women in this note is simply a reflection of the original target group. Written from a heart of love.

Proverbs 7:10-15, “And behold, a woman comes to meet him,…she is…

Ever heard the expression, “appearances can be deceiving“? Much of temptation is concerned with those two issues…appearances and deception. In the struggle to maintain purity we must learn to distinguish truth from the deceptive allure of appearance. For males, much of the struggle for purity is fought in the arena of sight. What we allow our eyes to see has great impact upon the internal struggle. That is one reason why it is so important to take preventive and intentional steps to monitor what you watch. Our eyes see something and our sinful natures begin to lust after it. The truth is that sin promises much but delivers little. Sure, sin is pleasurable for a season. The Bible tells us as much. The problem with regard to sexual sin is always one of “interest“. Just like a credit card you can buy now but you are certainly going to pay later. The cost of sin always exceeds the initial price. Let’s take a look at one way from this text in which sin (particularly sexual sin) tempts us through false appearances.

“…dressed as a harlot…” In this text the woman is NOT a harlot. She might be acting like one but the truth is that she is someone else’s wife. She is playing a role. She is not what she seems upon first glance. Pornography dehumanizes people. The participants are no longer seen as people. Not in any real sense. They are objects, intended to satisfy sexual longings. Understand this. The person involved in that video, etc. is just that, a person. Someone’s daughter. Someone’s sister. Quite possibly, someone’s wife. Years ago a friend told me her story regarding pornography. She was a herion addict at the time. She entered a dealer’s apartment looking to score her next fix. Two men promised her the desired drugs and led her to a back bedroom. Upon opening the door she was greeted by a bed, lights and a camera. As she turned to leave one of the men pulled out a gun, pointed it in her face, and told her she could die or she could “peform.” Kinda takes away the fantasy, doesn’t it? Think about that next time you are tempted. You are not looking at a thing. She might dress like a harlot. She might act like a harlot. She might even be a harlot. But it is all deception. She is just a part of a larger fantasy designed to entice, ensnare, and eventually enslave. Most people are fooled by the appearance. They never see the chains until it is too late. Read these following accounts from people that I have counseled over the years.

  • “Early Sunday morning, before anyone else wakes up, I run downstairs and take the department store ads from the newspaper. Then I go upstairs and use the underwear images to masterbate.”
  • “After all of the girls have left, I break into their apartment, steal their undergarments, and then I wear them around the apartment.”
  • “My sex life with my wife didn’t compare to what I was watching on the computer. So I had an affair. I don’t want to tell my wife but I can’t keep living this lie.”
  • “I had been thinking about porn all day. I couldn’t stop. Last night I molested a teenage girl.”

Wanna know the shocking thing? All of these people were involved in ministry at the time. I don’t say that to condemn. I say it to make a point. We are all potential targets. These were people whose lives were given over to God. I know because they were also close friends of mine. Daily they were working in the church, surrounded by His people, serious about their calling. But somewhere along the way they bought the lie. They forgot that the appearance is not reality. What they thought they wanted (at least at the time of temptation) was not what they really wanted in the end. Young man, remember this, ultimately, she is a person. Someone created in the image of God for His pleasure…not yours. Furthermore, she is someone for whom Jesus died upon the cross. Want purity? Learn to see her for who she is, not what sin tells you she is. See her not as an object. See her as a person. See her as your sister in Christ. See her as someone for whom our Savior bled and died.